Spare a thought for your poor old bank manager, and try to think of something nice that you can do for him - because let's face it, he's probably been a bit down in the dumps lately. What was once a job for life occupied by a respected community pillar, is now treated with the same disdain as the poo on your shoe. The bank director now has the status of an estate agent; Captain Mainwaring has become Rigsby, and it's not altogether fair.

But if you'd rather cuddle a skunk and you think I've lost my grip on reality ask yourself this: Who was it that developed the global strategies to sell inappropriate mortgages to customers who couldn't afford to repay them? Who bundled the high risk debts to sell them on? Who brokered the deal for one bank to take over another bank without completing fully adequate due diligence? Well it wasn't Captain Mainwaring that's for sure. But now it's down to businesses and bank managers to sort the whole mess out. 

When a furious Gordon Brown, with the dark countenance of a Presbyterian schoolmaster, shouted at the banks, insisting that they lend us our money back, they still had their fingers crossed behind their backs - even those that were being nationalised. But the business banking managers on the front line, the good ones, were just as angry as us. And now, I hear, there are signs that the money is starting to trickle through. The Department of Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform has announced that so far over 2,000 Enterprise Finance Guarantee loans have been granted to small businesses.

The scheme, whereby 75 per cent of the debt is guaranteed by the government, was designed to help businesses who had a good business plan but inadequate security, to raise finance. Initially the banks were reluctant to participate, but that might be changing.

And the business community can help by making the bank manager's job easier. Gone are the days where a plan on the back of a fag packet and a bottle of whisky for the manager were enough. You need to help the bank manager to appease his credit committee. Understand your business; know the detail; research your market, know your competitors, use the financial ratios that can help you to improve your profits. And, for a while anyway, become obsessive about credit control. A well thought out and well presented business plan will help you as well as the bank.

And the poor blighters need a lift. They've even stopped spending the fees we cheerfully pay to them on ski trips and champagne fests, or so it seems. Which predictably brings me on to the other section of society that have become celebrated for their enthusiasm in spending our money on themselves. I do wish all this fuss about the MPs expenses would die down.

For goodness sake, how can we expect our elected representatives to function properly without two roofs over their heads, an executive cleaner, manure, women's' clothes and a plentiful supply of kitkats? I was going to ask the  tax specialist at Axis if I could put the receipt for the two Swedish documentary DVD's my 'friend' rented through my business, but I thought better of it.

We must remember that it's very easy to mock politicians when they're trying so hard to run the country and tell us how we can live better, only to find that they've been found out. And it can be a lot of fun too. 

But they're not going to lend us the money to support our business. So let's ignore them for the moment and rebuild our relationships with the chaps who can. Smile at a banker today, and if he starts crying just run away!